School Survival

So, you wanna survive school? Well here are some tricks, first we will cover...

Seating

Ok so you wanna get best seat well you need to be:

  1. Sitting near smart kids to copy off (better someone who knows a particular thing you don't know)
  2. In the back corner of the classroom (minimum teacher security)
  3. Away from goodie goodies (No "Miss Example, Nick hit Sam!" any more)
  4. Sit with friends close (too far away and notes don't work)
  5. Near the spare paper box (notes, comics and paper aeroplane shortage, no more)
  6. Near electric sharpener, unless you already have one(annoys the hell out of teachers)
  7. Near window for daydreaming (corner of room seat helps here)
  8. Behind tall kids (hides you from teacher)
  9. Close to classroom computers (if you have any)
  10. Away from Art/Bin corner of room so you don't have to help doing stuff like cleaning/pining stuff on board (more reading/daydreaming/annoying-hell-out-of-teacher time)
Not as easy as you thought is it!

Next we will cover:

Cheating

Ok time to cheat and not repeat, this is difficult but here are 5:


  1. this is only for if you have a glass eye, have your glass eye aimed at your work and your real eye aimed at the smart kid you should be sitting next to you, if you don't have a glass eye well don't get any stupid,  idiotic ideas about pulling your eye out
  1. This is ONLY for if you aren't sitting next to the smart kid and you're desperate, get your friends to sit next to the smart kid and pass notes, make sure their trustworthy or they may pass you the wrong answers
  2. This gets risky, so you better be brave, strong, athletic, know who's your friend and be stupid enough to try this, go to the school at midnight, find your classroom (helps to know when the cleaners are at your classroom for an easier break in) get in somehow and steal the answers, if not their repeat at your school office (totally hacked does not take responsibility for kids in jail/court)
  3. If the above is to risky than try this, find some random reason to have a party at your school, leave your instrument/bag/important item in your classroom and tell your mum and/or dad this is a perfect occasion to get your instrument/bag important item from your classroom, if they let you, go to your classroom, get the instrument/bag/important item AND look at the answers for the test, write down the answers and RUN, however we have no idea how to get in when your parents agree
  4. ok this is for God-believers go ahead and PRAY, the chance are 99.999999999999999999 that you won't have anything extra happen other than if you studied, but then there is the 0.0000000000000000001 percent chance that you will get an enchanted pen or something that day, that means 2 things. 1, your luckier than me and 2, you're probably a saint
Next why don't we cover:

Excuses

Alright first we'll have late for school excuses:

  1. My alarm clock went of 3 hours late
  2. Come On! I live at least 2 miles away!
  3. The car broke down
  4. Traffic Jam
  5. My brother/sister/dad/mum got hurt and I had to stay and help with healing mum/dad/brother/sister
  6. I got hurt and was delayed from school
  7. At the last minute, I couldn't find my schoolbag
  8. Me mum and dad had to talk to the principal about me being bullied 
  9. I got a allergic reaction and was delayed
  10. It's my brothers first day of school and he hid in his cupboard because he was shy, making us need to look for him to continue
Alright why not not handing your homework in excuses:










 

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